Happiness that’s gathered along the way

Most weekends, I pamper myself with the luxury of bare mornings.

Waking before the sun, moving in silence. A candle flickering in the bathroom, incense curling into the air like a whisper.
I’d love to say I start my day with a glass of warm water, but I keep circling back to coffee. I know it won’t last—it never does—but for now, here we are. Slow Water rituals, ending as they always do: here, curled up on the green couch, where I feel most at home in this world. A cup of coffee, bunch of reads, time stretching into something softer.

I cherish Sunday mornings –
the most. A teacher once told me—the week should begin on a Sunday, the day of the Sun.
And when Sundays became my Mondays, I stopped fearing what the world calls ‘the most dreadful day of the week’.

Acknowledging that FlameB is the thing that brings me the deepest joy has made Sundays sacred.
I don’t know how it looks from the outside—perhaps chaotic, perhaps something else entirely.
But most days, my life feels like a level-three rollercoaster in a theme park.

Drifting in water, I caught myself thinking—about the ninth week of 2025.
Do you ever feel as though this year resets itself each month? As if every four weeks are a new beginning, a new ending, a full cycle in itself?
This ninth week held an entire year within it, for me.

A flood of moments, too many to name.
But perhaps the essence of it all is not in what happened, but in what I take with me:
A new frame of thought. A shift in understanding. A truth I hope will root itself deep—
In the pursuit of perfection, we risk missing everything.

As I see it now—my relentless need for things to be just right has bound my wings. For years.
And this morning, as I trace back the last three—
I feel it. That quiet discomfort within myself. I did this to Me. No one else, no one else – but me.

This illusion of how things should be didn’t just close doors.
It built walls where there were once windows full of stars.

On the phone with a friend, I confessed—
“You know, I never even paused to celebrate. The next morning, I woke up and dove straight into corrections. And God, there was so much that wasn’t right…” Friend reminded me—we had this conversation a year ago.
And then I recalled a quote I once saw, one that had made me stop—because it was about us.

In the pursuit of a goal
we leave behind so much happiness
we leave it—

without ever stopping to realize—
this is it.
This is the essence of the goal itself.

It’s a second day of the new moon,
let’s manifest miracles, money and magic,
love always,
bird.